do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
