Is it normal to miss your booty call?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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