Non-Jews are for practice
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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