Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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