i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I know her cup size but not her name....
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
