listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
