The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
