you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
