i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
