I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
