I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
