i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
