You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
