i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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