don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
No subtext here. People are naked.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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