your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
