I could make wine with my vomit
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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