That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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