I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
