She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I fill condoms, not promises.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
