Who wears a wallet chain?!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
