PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
