dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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