his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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