I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize