I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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