Quick, to the slutcave!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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