ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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