do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
