I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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