i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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