Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
