Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
