Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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