Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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