Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
