My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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