you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
