There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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