worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize