If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
