When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
