is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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