please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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