I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
