I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
