im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
