where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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