Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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