Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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