I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
