you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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