That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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