I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
