thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
third nipple confirmed
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
