DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
