so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
