he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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