The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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