If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize