You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
