I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
