i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
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marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
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