You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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