time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I am one with the molecules
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
