Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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