take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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