Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
