How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
