Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
When are your genitals available?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
