I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
