I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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