remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Bring me that man meat
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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