also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
