Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
